A tricky thing for a girl like me- I tend to be all or nothing. I’m a half pan of brownies or no brownie at all kind of person. I’ve been searching so long for that sweet spot- where everything is just right. Call me Goldilocks, but I’m just trying to find that balance.
For about as long as I can remember, I’ve had a crazy stomach- an angry little monster of a belly that makes figuring things out that much harder. Just when I think I know how to handle it, things change and I’m back at square one.
Pair all that with the general desire to be fit and healthy without going over the top and becoming image-obsessed in today’s world and we’ve got quite the challenge for an all or nothing girl like me.
It’s most angry when I’m hungry- so just keep eating and the monster is held at bay- sort of. For a long time, that was my strategy- eat. ALL THE TIME. Not a very good plan long-term.
A bowl of cereal before bed, once or twice during the night, first thing in the morning, and ALL DAY LONG. Like a newborn baby, except the only way I’m growing is sideways. It takes a lot of calorie burn to make up for that much eating- so let’s get obsessed with exercise too.
“Cereal?” you ask. “Maybe you’re eating the wrong things”. I hear you. I’ve tried feeding the monster the healthiest things and guess what? When you try to feed it what it doesn’t want, it clamps down your throat, pumps up the anger- and you will eat nothing. And the rest of your body takes a dive off the deep end. Another failed long-term strategy.
I tire of talking about this monster and I bet you do, too. So, we’re going to zoom through the details, but know we spent thousands of dollars and years trying to figure it out. After lots of tests, one Dr told me I had a “sour stomach” (pretty sure that’s code for ‘Nothing’s wrong with you-suck it up!’) and gave me pills to take- with a warning on the label about cancer. Um, no thanks.
The best I felt was with the nutritionist- but the amount of time and money spent along with the stress of living in the bubble of perfection seemed to be outweighing the benefits of all the supplements and super clean eating.
I learned a lot though and felt I could keep up a pretty good pace on my own. I did for quite awhile, but over time the monster got fired up again.
I’ve tried all the ways of eating- Paleo, Autoimmune, Keto, Whole 30, the list goes on- none of them quite the perfect fit, and drastic change always shot the monster into a fit of rage.
I had to figure out what worked best for me- something I could live with forever. Not a “diet”, but a way of life.
Enter Mtn Ops. Protein powder had become a staple for me, but finding something that checked all the boxes was tough- affordable, not full of junk, yet still tasty. I kept seeing ads for Mtn Ops, and people that seemed legit repping them, so when they were having a sale I decided to give them a try. Berries and Cream Magnum quickly became my go-to and their Ignite replaced ZipFizz for a little boost of energy during the day. Before long, our whole family was drinking and loving Mtn Ops.
I also kept seeing these ads for a workout program Mtn Ops offered for free. TBH, when I first started seeing the ads, I kind of resented them. I had hit this strange place I could not get myself out of- a wall I could not get over. Remember all that food I had to eat to keep the monster at bay? It required a lot of exercise- and I really loved exercise! For a lot of years I had become a bit of a fitness junkie. It was a good distraction from the monster. But, you know that all-or-nothing girl has a hard time with balance and I got a little obsessed there for awhile- I pushed myself too hard and saved nothing for anything else. Then, suddenly that fire went up in a blaze of glory and I could not re-light even a spark of the motivation that had previously fueled me.
I had found my perfect groove, I had pushed it too far, then I fell off the wagon and could not find my way back on.
It seems when a person is really in their groove- there will always be others who resent the fact that they themselves are not in their own groove and will try to tear you out of yours. I let them get to me. Somehow, the comments from others and whatever they may have thought of me- good and bad- started playing into my motivation. Was it wrong to want to be healthy and fit?
I was struggling to find balance- to be motivated for the right reasons and not let the critics get me down. All my old tricks at motivating myself were failing. I felt that, like with my stomach, I had to find something sustainable- a lifestyle not a diet. And let the motivation come from a healthy place- not via the scale or mirror or what others thought of me. “Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God?” Galatians 1:10. It really had to be about being the best version of myself- not just fitting into a certain pair of pants or looking good for some event. I want to be the best that I can be for God, myself, my husband, my family, and let’s go big and say for the world! “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.” 1 Corinthians 9:24. I want to run a great race! I want to be ready to climb the mountain.
When opportunity knocks, it doesn’t always wait for you to be ready- so just be ready now!
Somewhere in this place of struggle is where I first saw that ad for the Mtn Ops Conquer Circuit. Matt Davis kept inviting me to join free for 90 days, and before long I shifted from resenting those ads to knowing this was exactly what I needed. It was winter in Wyoming- hands down the hardest time to stay active, and our whole family was looking for a way to step it up through the cold and dreary season. So, we decided to jump in with both feet- all 6 of us started the conquer circuit together- working out as a family in the evenings. At times our motivation levels fluctuated- but there was always someone fired up and ready to go even when others of us were struggling. We pulled each other through, lifted each other up, had a lot of laughs and some occasional frustration. In the end, we finished. Ranch life is a pretty good teacher of hard work, stick-to-it discipline, and teamwork- but there was something extra about doing these workouts at the end of a long day together in the evenings that really pulled us together, tightened the bond, and strengthened our foundation.
We were getting ready. At the time we didn’t know what for, but for the last several years we’d been praying for God to use us. We didn’t know what that meant, but this drive to lean in to Him, to be the best we could be, to prepare- it’s been brewing in us for awhile. And challenging ourselves as a family has been such a great step in the process.
And somewhere in it all, I am finding my groove again- I’m feeling better than ever and though I will always be a work in progress, this all or nothing girl is finding balance. I love exercise again and don’t care about the scale. There is no label for the way I eat, and I’m not worried what anyone thinks about it. It works for me. And funny thing- what I used to refer to as a ‘battle’ or ‘fight’ -the eating, the exercise, the belly- has strangely become natural to me. Not that it is always easy, but once I let it be about being the best version of myself that I can be today and putting in the work I know this body needs- everything is falling into place. I’m at peace, and I’m loving every minute. We only get one shot at this life, so let’s make it the best it can be!
Some icing on the cake- we have had the opportunity to get to know some of the people behind Mtn Ops and they are truly some of the most wonderful people you could ever meet! A bonus box checked on that list in my search for protein powder 🙂 Can’t say enough great things about them! We’ve tried most of their products and love them all. And they still offer not only the Conquer Circuit, but multiple other workout programs for free if you are interested.
