I used to dread the job of cleaning – toilets especially. There’s not much worse than reaching around the backside of the ol’ porcelain throne to scrub up pee, or worse, while trying to keep from totally hugging up to everything. Or having that wad full of hair escape its hair tie and flop down into the water, where you try to convince yourself it’s not as disgusting as it seems. I’m fine cleaning up my own messes, but cleaning up after others is not my jam. But, we are in the service industry and constant cleaning of others’ messes is a huge part of what we do. But that doesn’t mean I have to like it. Does it? I found myself getting grouchy about the messes and taking it personally when things were dirtier than I thought they should be.
Philippians 2 talks about the servant heart of Jesus- how the God of the universe took on human flesh, humbled Himself, became nothing, and even died on a cross- for us. Then a bit later in the same chapter, we are told to “do everything without complaining…” (Also known as “grumbling”). And why are we supposed to servant heartedly keep from grumbling? “So that you may be blameless and pure… and may shine like stars in the universe.” Okay, until you’ve seen the night sky nearly burst open with stars in a place undiluted from city lights- this might not have the same impact. But, out here where we live- the stars can shine so bright they nearly take your breath away. So, if there’s any chance I could actually be like that, I’m in! Once I read it, I couldn’t shake it. I started praying for a heart like that- the heart of a servant who doesn’t complain, so I can shine baby. It has been years of praying that prayer- but it is so hard to live it out.
I’m trying to have this great attitude and servant’s heart, then comes someone who is excessively messy, or a group who is supposed to do their own cleaning and gives cleaning duty the ol Adios. As my servant’s heart dissolves, I find myself complain-singing, “Shot through the heart, and you’re to blame!!”
I get to work cleaning, but does it really matter if I have a bad attitude? Where’d that servant’s heart go? You can bet I’m grumbling. No stars here, friend. The only thing gonna be sparkling are these toilets.
I feel like Paul when he said, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.”
I go back to Philippians again and read about Jesus and pray for my heart to somehow be more like His. Not just in cleaning toilets, but in all areas of my life. Not to become a doormat to the world, but to take on the challenges and people of each day with love and a heart like Jesus. Toilets just provide me with great practice. I’ve got 14 of them to keep sparkling.
As our last busy season rolled around, I decided ahead of time that I’m going to love cleaning. Especially the toilets.
Did I tell you I struggle with pride, too? Well, I’ve found it’s hard to be prideful when you’re on your hands and knees cleaning pee. So, bring it on- give me all the dirty toilets. This is my training ground.
I had no hope of getting through the toilet loving challenge without begging Jesus to help me- ‘help me be humble, help me to love everyone like you do, please Jesus, help me have a servant’s heart like yours… ‘ I asked for a new perspective, to quit being selfish and placing the focus on myself, to remember that this is not about me. How will the world have any hope of seeing even a speck of Jesus in me if I’m grumbling and complaining? And you know what happened? By His amazing grace and faithfulness, Jesus showed up. There. At the toilets.
In the lowest place, He came to join me. Not just once, but every time. Surprisingly, it became the best prayer time. I even found myself thankful for toilets to clean, because it’s where I knew I could go to find the One I seek to be like. I’ve still got a long ways to go before I’m shining like those stars, but you can bet I’m working on it.
I wonder what that low place is for you? Wherever it is- if you ask- God will be there. I know, because Jesus meets me at the toilets.
The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.
Psalm 145:18
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men…It is the Lord you are serving.
Colossians 3:23-24
